Recently I received a summer issue of one of my “browsing” magazines. It is filled with beautiful pictures, many ideas for home and garden and in this issue, a distinctive laid-back summer vibe.

My summers are not always laid-back. My role as mom, wife and homemaker doesn’t really pause during the summer months at all. There is definitely a change of rhythm during the summer months. But in some ways my schedule and duties leap into hyper-drive because the needs of my family also change with the season.

So as I looked through my lovely magazine with luscious pictures of s’mores, happy people relaxing around a pool (the meal had already been made and artfully arranged on a stunning platter and plates – and I’m sure the kitchen was already cleared and cleaned!) and suggestions of “must read” books to get lost in, I made a dead-earnest determination.

“I am NOT,” (slap my hands against each other, stamp my foot and set my jaw) “I am NOT going to let summer fly by without relaxing and enjoying this change of season and change of pace. This IS my GOAL (capital letters!) for the summer!

Ah! As soon as I made this determination, the irony of this intense goal-setting for a relaxing summer hit me. The fact is that I don’t relax very well. And relaxing cannot be my teeth-gritting goal for this summer. For as soon as I make it a goal…well, the race and chase is on…and any relaxing becomes a moot point.

Relaxing, slowing down, is not about achieving. It is about getting out of harness, unstringing the bow, stopping…, breathing…, taking a break to refresh for this short season.

So instead of the teeth-gritting, I need a different strategy. Relaxing cannot be my goal. At least, I cannot come at this goal head-on, but must sneak up on it from “the back door”. With this “back door” approach in mind, I chose a few negative mini-goals that I think will result in a season of rest and renewal.

Tow Mater from the Pixar movie “Cars” gives me my new summer philosophy. When the Sheriff finds him chatting with the incarcerated Speed McQueen, he asks him, “Mater! What did I tell you about talking to the accused?” He answers, “To NOT to…”

In the spirit of that answer, “to not to”, I would like to propose some “to NOT to’s” for my summer.

1. to not to…be distressed at unproductive time.
Wow. I have nothing to do right now. How weird is that? How does it feel? Breathe. The world is still going around…amazing. Without any effort on my part. The house is not falling down…incredible.

2. to not to…fuss at others.
Let them be unproductive too. And enjoy them. And smile.

3. to not to…worry

4. to not to…hold the reins

5. to not to…hold back

That’s all for now.