Connections. We need points of connection, especially within our families; we are hard-wired for love and connection; we need to “belong”: in the busyness, in the weariness, in the heartbreaks, in the stress, through the misunderstandings, in the common days and duties: connections.

I am in the school room of motherhood; I have been learning some lessons. Lesson One: my face affects my children…it does. If I greet them with a smile, it is such a blessing to them. It means: “mom is here – really here…and she sees me!” A smile presents a open face: “I’m here and I’m yours.” No agenda.

Yet despite our longing for connection, many times our connections are short-circuited; there is some break in the wiring. A short-circuit creates an energy leak; it’s a place where the energy jumps out of it’s intended circuit; the energy is redirected – and misdirected – by a fault in the circuit. It can be dangerous; it is always a waste of energy.

So, what are the circuit breakers? This list is taken from my own experience: self-important busyness, harsh, unthoughtful words, worry and preoccupation, anger, bitterness and unthankfulness, hurry; these all break the circuit of connectedness.

It takes directed energy to complete the circuit: always gentle, always kind, always patient, always giving up self-ambitions. Life (and my individual days) are not ultimately about “getting something done” – although there is a lot to do. Life is about loving. (It’s easier to “get something done” by the way.)

Here’s a short poem that helps me remember:

Hug through days of awkwardness
Smile through days of stress
Kiss each morning, tickle much
Giggle sometimes, stop for lunch
Pause to listen, really hear
Don’t be distant, do draw near,
Let facades and barriers fall
Welcome each and welcome all
Let eyes sparkle, “welcome dear”
“Glad to see you, glad you’re here.”
Grab a game and play a while
Read a book, and sigh and smile
“Together” is a word of cheer
“Together” gathers loners near
“Together” is a family thing
Together cry, together sing
Come, have a cup of tea with me
A time to pause and just to be
Together.