Near the latter part of the summer, we notice the appearance of large green iridescent flying beetles; I have always referred to them as Japanese beetles, but I have found out they are called Fig Beetles.

At first glance they look like large black bees. But their flight is quite erratic; they are constantly bumping into all sorts of objects. They also have a penchant for getting flipped over onto their backs and they do not seem to possess the ability to right themselves again. Their lumbering flight and seemingly faulty navigation system always attracts our attention and our derision.

Last Saturday I had an interesting encounter with a fig beetle. My daughter, PX, and I were observing the pathetic flight of a large green specimen – a fig beetle. A couple other people were around us, and I couldn’t resist commenting on the sad and sorry performance of this fig beetle as it flew. While we were watching, it decided to land on a yellow rose alongside the walkway. This was a perfect spot for us to really see it; my daughter PX got very close and began to lightly scratch at the insect with her fingernail in order to dislodge it from its resting place. I saw what was going on, took a step nearer, put my hand on PX’s shoulder and was about to say, “Just leave it alone,” when several things happened very quickly. PX “scratched” at it one more time, the fig beetle took off flying – erratically as usual. I opened my mouth to speak…and the fig beetle flew right in!

These beetles are NOT little; this one was at least an inch long. It flew completely into my mouth! Completely…into…my mouth! I could feel the vibration of its flying aparatus…INSIDE my mouth!

What happened next? I  spat it out!!!! Blaaaaaaaghkkk!!!

Then I rinsed my mouth out with water. The whole time, my audience (my daughter and a few bystanders) were laughing with surprise and hilarity. After I had “released” the insect, I was laughing too.

That was one confused beetle. It was a little “damp” from its recent excursion and lay on the ground dazed. A bystander took a napkin and picked up the beetle from where I had spat it out. We examined it. It was all in one piece, no teeth marks – THAT was reassuring. It’s wings were a little splayed and rumpled and I guess that was understandable. I am happy to report that both the beetle and the surprised lady have recovered. The beetle flew off and I went home and took a nap.